First, let's fully embrace gratitude for the fact we have another opportunity to express our greatness and give our gifts to the world. We can better serve the world and others when we take the very best care of ourselves.
It's that time of year when we often take a closer look at our beautiful lives. Looking for areas to make changes and improvements. I’m sure you have noticed all around you people are living into their New Year’s resolutions, reading self-help books, adding exercise, and adopting new diets and workout routines.
With the beginning of the New Year last month came the message:
Let’s celebrate this new beginning with a makeover or redo of ourselves.
A fresh start has been presented to us.
Now in the midst of February I would like to invite you to include a mental health wellness check, in this fresh start assessment. Our mental health is vital and deserves to be at the top of our list if we are looking to improve our overall health. Within this category of mental health, an area that warrants a closer look is our grief and loss history.
Did you know that unprocessed grief can affect your health just like a bad diet or an unhealthy lifestyle?
Know that unprocessed grief takes an equal toll on both our physical and mental health.
If grief is not honoured for a long period of time, it may lead to prolonged states of depression, anxiety disorders, substance abuse and chronic health issues, some experts believe it can also strain relationships, impair work performance and diminish the overall quality of life.
Therefore if you are thinking I want something different for my life, start by assessing your loss/grief history. There may be valuable and insightful messages to be revealed.
Ask yourself these questions:
Are there losses I never grieved?
Losses that I say: I can’t deal with that right now? I’m afraid to look at this loss, I don’t know where it will lead.
Take note of this quote from Elenor Roosevelt:
You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear (grief) in the face…You must do the very thing you think you can not do.
The beauty and reality of this quote is: You don’t have to do grief alone.
Remember grief needs to be expressed. You need to empty yourself of emotions and feelings around your loss to begin to heal. The best place to start this healing is with sensitive friends or family who are willing to aid in your healing journey. If you have that support it is a gift. Please lean into this gift.
For others, family and friends may not be available emotionally to aid you in your grief recovery journey. That being the case, addressing grief through support systems, therapy, or community groups can help alleviate health effects and aid in promoting your healing. If you decide to seek professional help to begin healing your grief.
I would like to offer these three components as guidelines to ensure that you are receiving effective therapy.
You have a good rapport with the therapist. You feel you can trust that person. You can discuss all the issues in your life with them. Grief is not compartmentalized. It affects the entire landscape of our lives.
The therapist provides support. Emotional support and directed guidance and or both.
They provide you with useful insights that allow you to do better in all areas of your life: relationships, professionally, emotionally, and with your life goals.
Having good mental hygiene around loss and grief truly does lead to living a healthy life in balance which then ushers in peace and harmony.
What better qualities than these for new beginnings now?
Allow this time to be the year that you make friends with grief. Becoming aware of the gifts that grief can bring to your life.
Grief’s superpower is healing.
With love, Bonnie
Your Doula for Grief
LOSS: Any expected or unexpected occurrence where you cannot go back to the way things were before i.e. a death, divorce, diagnosis, geographical move, natural disaster—also the birth of a child, puberty, graduation, job promotionGRIEF: The collection of normal, natural emotions that follows a loss; can include sadness and anger, but can also include numbness, confusion, guilt, anxiety, and joy.
Bonnie Gonzalez is a Registered Nurse, RScP, Professional Life coach, Licensed SoulCollage® Facilitator, and a Doula for Grief. In addition, she is also a Grief workshop facilitator and Grief educator. Bonnie has a private coaching practice, specializing in Grief. Seeing clients one on one and in group settings. Meetings are in person and virtual. Bonnie is currently living in Mexico with her husband Tito.
For information on where to find grief support contact:www.yourdoulaforgrief.com
